The Theory of The Dérive

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The actual The Theory of the Derive! Seriously! Can be purchased from the Catalyst Studios online store:

The Theory of The Dérive is a fictional book that was entirely the invention of writer Sir Walter Scott for use in his horror stories and for ridiculing wannabe literary starlets and starlettes. Several hoax versions of the The Theory of the Dérive exist, most notably a grimoire purportedly written by The Mad Arab, Alan Warner, despite the fact that in Scottish, you don't put the morpheme "-ah ken" after "ah" because it's fucking redundant, and therefore anomalous. Scott claimed that reading just one paragraph of the The Theory of the Dérivewould turn a sane man into a gibbering lunatic. It is believed that most Twitter users have read the whole thing.

Many deluded starlets, practitioners of creative writing and 46 year old girls believe the The Theory of the Dérive is real. Others will admit that the fakes are fakes but insist that the creative writing classes work anyway.

On Worshiping the Unholy Books of Scotland

  • "Hi. Yeah I would just like to point out (and I'm sure you get this a LOT!) but you people are ignorant and synicl. I personaly don't care what you think about the The Theory of the Dérive but to post (and I understand this is your site) that it is all a hoax is outragous you could not posibly know unless you did the reserch for your self but is obvious you did not, and you choos to believe everything people tell you to when it's easy to believe. Sir Walter Scott's work is real and authentic and he may not care that you say these things but I and many other people do. We believe in it, not becaus we were all told to but some of us actualy practice creative writing and it is not an evil thing but an art and a part of our live so I ask you on behalf of all writers (exept the nasty one's)(or is it ones?) pleas do not judge thing's you have no clue about if you want true answers research it. Thank you." William Lilly (talk) 16:07, 13 September 2016 (MDT)

See Also