Difference between revisions of "Sadtober"

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==1st October==
 
  
It was just my own crisis. The morning I waited for my wife to rise, I shouldn't have done it, I should have leaped into action with the children although that isn't fair on her. She has a cold, has menopause, has just had a face infection, her husband is depressed, she has had back surgery, her best friend has had a stroke, she is morphine, valium, neurontin, and other things too, we both smoke that awful skunk. It wouldn't be fair almost to dash out with the boys, not that I could. I have a Tramadol withdrawal, that is like a cold, and I only took it a few days this week, to deal with the pain of my head injury. I wasn't prescribed it, but we have plenty Tramadol under the bed. I should be worried about valium habits, morphine habits, I have been presribed valium, and I ate them up quite quickly, two a day, especially when I smoked that awful skunk. I take 2 Citalopram daily too, I should have not taken 2 valium last Sunday, after my head injury. I now have to wait all month, to see if I will get better, or of any of it will get better. Will anybody get better. My mouth feels like closing, I feel like muttering, today I felt like running away for all of the month of Sadtober, it felt like a foregone conclusion, a starting point and ending point, I just kept quiet in the end.
 
 
[[User:Pilgrim of Crisis|Pilgrim of Crisis]] ([[User talk:Pilgrim of Crisis|talk]]) 13:45, 2 October 2017 (MDT)
 
 
==2nd October==
 
 
When I began managing the shop, one of the first things I thought about were the problems that consistently occurred on Monday mornings. It always seemed to be, although it might not have really been, but it seemed to be that Monday mornings were a fractious and dangerous time, which could set the tone for a whole week. I started being in the shop on Monday mornings, an hour or more before it opened. My wife said this was good role modelling for the staff. I made sure the week started well, and then any hand over went smoothly. I waited around all the morning making sure everybody was happy, and that any communication difficulties were sorted kindly.
 
 
As if to prove that I had forgotten this aspect of my work, I made this [[Monday]] morning a hell for so many others, especially my business partner, by overreacting, panicking in sadness, writing angry messages, engaging in fighting, you know all what else, an awful scene of attrition. When you wake some days you don't even know how fragile you are. I was like Godzilla with a sore head, knocking my body off the buildings, and so unhappy with myself. I had ten staples in my head, and I had forgotten they were being removed that afternoon. The procedure was painful, but I sat through it, I have become not attracted to pain, but in a special place of my own where pain is quite acceptable. I left the surgery and felt the cold air, now rushing into my skull. My head didn't like it. Being held together with staples last week, my head was in one manner tied together, held in place. Now the two sides of my head, split by my fall, were like fingers gripping to hold a body to a rock shelf.
 
 
I collapsed straight to bed for an hour, I think I was in shock, I was so cold. I wooke up, and my wife was also rising, both of us threatening to pick the children up from school. I went to the pick up and then later, offered to play football in the cold, which I did, fprgetting that my head was open. I had smoked some of the godawful skunk, but the shock of kicking the ball hurt my head, and so I returned home to take Tramadol. That night I took morphone, too, but could not sleep. I rose late in the night and drank a can of beer, smoked heavily of the the awful skunk, and returned to bed to listen to a podcast about Catalan independence. Feeling mad after 40 minutes, I rose again, drank another can of lager, and smoked much more of the godawful skunk. I returned to bed, but this happened again. Finally I listened to the audiobook of [[Frankenstein]], I don't think that was an accident.
 
 
[[User:Really Reckless|Really Reckless]] ([[User talk:Really Reckless|talk]]) 13:22, 4 October 2017 (MDT)
 

Latest revision as of 12:18, 25 October 2017